Thursday, February 11, 2010

My First Love ... :-)

"All you are searching for is certain to come if you expect it and prepare for it."

She is so beautiful. She is so beautiful that even her glance would enhance the beauty of the Venus. She is so beautiful that her smile could drive away the years of sorrow. She is so beautiful that her elegant movements could inspire many to dance. Her eyes could define the innocence, her every word articulated could remind the sweet poems in the schools, her breath could inspire the air to play the mellifluous music. So sensitive as a little snail but even the wild tornadoes could be pacified when her hair drifts to the wind. And it took me almost 21 months to give the digital face for her beauty.

She was there standing about 40 meters away, which meant the distance of light years to me. She was in the pink frilled skirts till her little thighs with a white embroidery at the borders, wore a cream colored tops with dark pink colored strings, white colored short sleeves frilled, with the cream socks and white shoes caring her dance feet, while her silver colored ear rings were trying to dominate her beauty but couldn't. She was standing like a head queen supporting her left hand at her waist, swinging her right hand that even the physics failed to calculate its harmonic motion. Her posture was so perfect that no geometry could attempt to explain her elegant figure.

She with all her energy, came running towards me with her tender steps on the green lawns. Shakespeare could again born and dedicate his entire life just to describe the beauty that she always carried with her in every step. She came running to me, and all of a sudden when she could estimate the scalar distance between us is almost about 1 meter, she with all her force and excitement, carrying many surprises for me, jumped on to offer me a great hug. She hugged me very tight with her hands around my neck, for a few seconds, which allowed me to experience the Heaven with the great lessons embedded for me. Hugged me so tight that made me believe that all the seven heavens embraced me, all at the same time with the loads of Love and Joy.

It all happened on 13th May 2008, at Puttaparthy, my Divine place, inside Prashanthi Nilayam in the parks opposite to North Block. She is a six year girl, foreign origin, with the fairer skin, playing with some other kids in the park. Among them, one is a Negro boy with the curled hair, wearing a beautiful smile on his face, one boy and two girls (including her) are from US. And there was also an indian boy playing with them. He is of four years from Tamil Nadu. Each of them were strangers to each other until they met there and started playing together. I could identify the unity in diversity, which I used to study academically in my school and also now in IBM.

They were all playing some game in the park. This girl is the younger among the all but more energetic than anyone there., displaying her leadership in framing the rules of the game. I don't know the name of this beautiful girl and I can't imagine any name which can suit to her beauty. So, I wish to call her Sai. After all Beauty is the God's creation. And all others among them were of 7 to 8 years of age except the one from Tamil Nadu. The Tamil Nadu kid was very silent and was busy putting all his efforts to mingle with the faster world. Every incident in Life has a reason hidden behind. As I believe, my meeting with those souls also had a reason with it.

It was May 13th 2008, the day before my MBA entrance at Puttaparthy and the journey had been a bon-voyage, as I have got the solutions to many of my questions, especially the one about the Happiness. I was sitting on a Park fencing, which was of about 1.5 feet higher than the ground and was painted in white. The soup I was holding was not properly mixed. I was stirring it steadily with part of my concentration into the cup. It was very hot with the greatest aroma of its kind. Taking in sip by sip. I was watching the kids playing in front of me, in the park. But I failed to notice that it was God playing in the disguise of kids, as I was carried away with many random and abstract thoughts, some pinching so deep in my heart and some soothing.

It was of my greatest desires to stay in Puttaparthy for at least 10 days, and I could make it that time, which I couldn't, during all my B.Tech. I had a desire of staying in the Prashanthi Nilayam buildings along with my parents, which is impossible for many. And I was glad to realize very soon that I was not a part of that 'many', as I had the privilege of staying in those buildings as a student appearing for the Sathya Sai Entrance. Many of my small but greatest desires have been fulfilled, stood college first many a times, also among the University toppers in my first year, secured job in IBM, had Philosophical parents, who always encouraged me to grab the every opportunity of Happiness, had a very good room mates all the time and friends who always cared me the most. While these all stay at the soothing side, there were also a train of thoughts haunting me at the pinching side since my very childhood. The reasons have grown very abstract to me. I have almost forgot the reasons of the cause of pain but the pain couldn't forget me and it had always kept my company. The pain had become my greatest intimate dancing on the burning fires of ego, inability, competition, pessimism, abasement and infinite such, as if I am wedded to it. And the pain has been very honest to me, presenting many gifts and surprises at many stages of my life, which I don't want to call them the curse.

I had been very abstinent of many pleasures of teen-age. I was absolutely ignorant of real happiness and its beauty in Life. I had been the odd nut when all my friends kept enjoying many a thing. But I failed to recognize happiness in any of those. And all this has caused me to raise a beautiful question to Swami. " When exactly do we get the Happiness ? Swami you have the Key to all our questions. You have answered many of them through wonderful experiences and have architectured my Life so beautifully. But what's the use when it is not appropriately recognized by me ? When exactly do we feel the true Happiness ? It has already been very late. I need the answer now. Please !!! " cried deep inside.

Aaah !! The tomato soup fell down. Someone slapped my face, bringing me back to the senses. It was a small young girl (Sai) whom i have mentioned about. The air between us carried her cute innocent voice which reached my ears, saying "So...o..o..r..r..ry " , holding her right hand fore finger in her left hand and turning her right leg on the ground, with a body expression in consonance with the apologies she paid, in an expression which can pacify the volcanoes of thousands of years old. And all of a sudden she changed her expression. With her eyes wide open of an innocent but confident face, ordered me, "Get up now. Come and sit there on the white bench. They(her friends) are cheating. They say they win. But I win. You judge. Come on now. Get up soon. " I know that Sai wins. But how can I judge Sai ? Oh.. of course, understanding is judgment after all, I once read it in one of the books of Stephen Covey. So all I was needed is to understand Sai which I realized later. I got up. Threw my waste cup in the dustbin. "Now there's no more waste in my hands " I thought. Sat on the bench she directed.

They all were playing running race. Who ever touches me first, wins the race, was a rule framed by Sai. In a plan to let Sai win, I have asked the other boys and a girl to run slowly and let this cutie win for that one time. They were so amenable to agree to what I asked them.

The count started. Ready.... Steady .. (all are in a pose ready to start) .. 1..2.. 3.. Go !!! The five little energies started their race, each one in their pace. The two boys and a girl decreased their pace gradually, as I signaled them to, allowing my little Sai to win the race. She with her tender steps, came running with all her force and excitement, carrying many surprises for me, jumped on me to offer me a great hug. She hugged me very tight with her hands around my neck,for a few seconds, which allowed me to experience the Heaven with the great lessons embedded for me. Hugged me so tight that made me believe that all the seven heavens embraced me, all at the same time with the loads of Love and Joy.

I could feel the cool breeze. Her smooth silky golden hair drifting on the left side of my skull. Her smooth puffy pink cheeks as smooth, as a new born baby's, touched my face. The nervous system inside playing its own game for an unconventional commands given by Sai. With the Sai's hug, my heart pumped all its blood with loads of Joy and Happiness buckled to RBCs of my blood. I could feel the happening of all the chemistry that I have never ever syudied in any of the greatest books nor I have experienced. The metabolism inside was 1000 times faster than that the Darwin's Theory ever explained.

Sai slowly released her hands, moved back half a foot and looked into my eyes with all the enjoyment of success. Cheered !!! I won !!! Her eyes twinkled like marbles, passed a message through the light, through my eyes, directly to my heart and then mind. "I won...! " she exclaimed and hugged me again. Moved half a foot back again and said to me, "I won... ! " in a tone that she can't believe her success. With all her excitement. I paid her a few kisses on her puffy rosy cherub cheeks, as a token of appreciation. She in turn acknowledged my avuncular love of kisses with the most loving hard kiss on my left cheek, the way my mom used to, every time. I saw the true happiness in her face. I could notice Happiness in every movement of her eyes, eyelids, eyebrows raised high in surprise, lips curled up in smile, rosy-cheeks bulged out. Her cute smile and happiness in her face has brushed away all the pain that I carried ever. Her Happiness for her little but great achievement has bunched up and packed all my painful thoughts and has given them a ticket to an un-returnable journey.

I know she hasn't won the Gold Medal in an Olympics, she hasn't got any Oscar award, she hasn't got the University top, she hasn't got any media appreciations, she hasn't earned any crores of business deal nor she hasn't earned the laurels to our country. She was in fact enjoying her success more than that Ambani family can, more than that Shah Rukh can, more than that Speilberg can. She was more Happy. "What's it that gave her such a great treasure ? What's the reason ?" Questioned myself. The reason had been very simple. She believed that there is an unbound happiness for her, in winning her game. She just believed. And that belief was the reason.

This had a very interesting impression for me. For the world. It was then I learnt that the Happiness doesn't come (more often) from the consequences. But from our beliefs. Believe that you will be happy by something of your life, irrespective of its size and consequences. Believe that you will be happy by doing something... something... It can be Anything. Believe that you will be Happy by doing any thing. Anything in your life, be it a daily routine. All the greatest efforts we need to put in is just to believe that there's some Happiness for you, in every moment of Life. It is only then you can recognize it. The more you recognize, the more happier you will be. Mind will work miracles in your life, if you only allow it.

The moment when you miss an office cab, late night, don't forget to recognize that you love walking home alone on the roads, late night, listening to the music you love. When you are disturbed from the deep sleep, don't forget to recognize how great you were enjoying the deep sleep. When you are left alone for any trips, don't forget to recognize that you love exploring places, all alone, being yourself. What ever it is, recognize the Happiness in every moment. Give enthusiasm and Love for what you do. The work will be a play. Allow yourself to realize that each moment of Life is a miracle and mystery.

Create the kind of Life you will be happy to live with all your Life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny sparks of possibility into the flames of achievement -- I once read it in some book. And it is now I believe it. There's no risk in making Happiness. Figure out what turns you on and just be it. It was from then I Loved Happiness a lot. Believed it's my best companion in Life. Thus started my Love towards Happiness.

My First Love.... :-)